Journal Entry: Tue Feb 12, 2013, 5:29 PM
Reading: Oath by Misty Sman-Esay
Watching: The Fellowship of the Ring
Drinking: Black Cherry Mio
I'm being honest here.
And it wasn't something big and dramatic, it was something simple, and yet still life saving.
Since I was thirteen, I smoked cigarettes. And I'm not saying if you smoke you're a bad person, and there is no denying the fact that smoking IS bad for your health. (But so is a lot of things we do)
I'm 22 years old right now, I didn't quit until last year around April, when I was 21. I smoked, off and on (being pregnant for nine months and breast feeding for one) for eight years. EIGHT years. Which, compared to some, is not long at all, like my grandfather, who is in his 70's, has been smoking his whole life AND has lung cancer. (But he keeps on going. Stubborn man.)
So, wouldn't having a son, who I adore with my whole world, help me quit? Wouldn't being without a smoke for 10 months help me quit? And wouldn't having horrible asthma make me quit or kill me? (it almost did my Senior Year of High School) I'm stubborn, very stubborn. And smoking was a vice I needed. I was stressed (still stressed) and smoking was a coping mechanism for depression. My options were to cut or smoke. (neither good)
So what finally got me to quit smoking?
I didn't smoke a lot, a pack or two a week ( I know people where that is their average a DAY) For a smoker, I wasn't that bad.
But that was still almost 12$ week, 24$ between Aunna and I.
What got us to stop?
Aunna stopped because in order for her to get her proper hormones she needed to quit. Since to her, being who she is in her heart, it was easy.
What did I do? I used my cigarette money to buy action figures. Star Wars action figures. Mostly Anakin's. That is how my collection tripled in sized over the summer.
The satisfaction of having my Anakin Army really helped. Buying a toy really lifts my spirits. I'm still a kid at heart.
Sometimes I still want a cigarette. Like days like I've been having recently, I would like to escape. Do anything, for the few minutes of calming bliss. Never mind the after effects.
So when I feel that need, I scrounge up enough cash for an action figure. A waste of money, but something that lasts a life time. (And when times were better, Blake would get one too...it's why he has so many toys x.x)
So I think everyone would agree...splurging on toys is a good thing, especially if it keeps me healthy. =^.^=
Thank you Star Wars for being so amazing, for making me a fan girl, for giving me another option. <3 <3